We were on our daily walk to the library. We walked slowly down the street, me pushing a stroller with my daughter’s baby doll in it, simultaneously wearing my infant son and calling after my daughter to hold my hand before she crossed the street. I sometimes wonder what passerby’s think when they see me. Perhaps an older woman smiles from behind her steering wheel reminiscing about how her grown children were once small. Maybe a busy man thinks to himself, “That lady needs a real job.” Perhaps a teenage girl thinks that if she ever has kids she won’t go out of the house without doing her hair first. Just speculation, but I am curious sometimes.
As I sat in a chair designed for a 2-year-old and helped my daughter with a puzzle, I overheard an interesting conversation between two librarians. The two women in their mid twenties were talking about an upcoming wedding and how the bride’s married sister will be pregnant for the wedding. They talked about how inconsiderate it was of the sister to get pregnant before the wedding and how the bride was furious with her. Um, I’m sorry, I didn’t know this was a huge faux pas…anyone else with me on this one? At first I thought I must have heard wrong, but as they continued to talk about the rudeness of the timing of the pregnancy and wonder who would take care of the baby if it came before the wedding, I realized they were serious. To top it all, the mother-of-the-bride (who also worked at the library) came in and gushed about how upset she was about the whole ordeal.
Granted, I was eavesdropping on a very loud conversation, but since when have precious, innocent babies become simply nuisances that throw off the aesthetics of our wedding pictures? Seriously, do we as a culture place so much value on a wedding that we forget that children are one of the greatest blessings of a marriage? Are brides so self-centered these days that their joy is dampened by someone who might steal the limelight?
The whole conversation both embarrassed and angered me. Once again it reminded me that I live in a culture that sees my babies as inconvenient and burdensome. This is nothing new. Even Jesus’ disciples pushed the children away. But Jesus knew better. He shocked the crowd by saying that they must become like the little ones to enter His kingdom. He said that when you serve the least of these, you serve Him. He said that the least is the greatest. His wisdom seems foolish to the culture of yesterday and today.
As we walked home with a dozen picture books slowing us down, I continued to think about my role as a mother amidst a discouraging culture of self-centeredness. A culture that says I can do better than daily laying down my life for others. I may not work in a highly esteemed, well-paying job, and wear expensive clothes. I may not be well-traveled or have extra letters by my name. But everyday, I look in the eyes of my babies and see Jesus. Everyday I have two personal tutors to show me how I must be childlike in my faith. No matter how my role as a mother is viewed by others, when I serve my children, I serve Jesus, and that is the greatest thing I will ever do.
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Hi Emily: Great post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Less than an hour ago I read this incredibly frustrating article from Business Insider titled “The Perks of Being in a Relationship without Kids” — http://www.businessinsider.com/why-i-love-being-a-dink-2012-4?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+businessinsider+%28Business+Insider%29&utm_content=Google+Reader — Your article provided a breath of fresh air. Thanks!
It’s those kind of articles that perpetuate the thought that children are merely cute financial and social burdens. I don’t blame the author for enjoying her childless freedom just as I enjoy being a parent, but the way she writes seems to glorify a self-focussed existence.
Thanks for reading, Matt
~Emily
Thanks for the encouragement, Emily.
Thanks for stopping by Lisa!
~Emily
Emily, thanks for this, and may you have a very good today–amid all the usual ups & downs–with your “two personal tutors.” I’ve printed this out to give to my wife, Wendy. I know she’ll love it.
Great thoughts Emily! Praise God for the work He has done in your heart to give you this perspective and the ability to so beautifully share it!
Emily, I loved your perspective in this article. I faced that attitude, too, and continue to face that today. But with each year of child-rearing that I experience, my passion, commitment and awe for it grow. I do believe it has a lot to do with giving ourselves completely through serving and loving. And like any great feat that we attempt, the more we give, the more we learn and get and grow in character and understanding. And when we have purpose and intention in the what we want to “plant” in the hearts and character of our children, in time, we begin to see and enjoy the beautiful fruits of our “labor”. I KNOW, that you are going to reap a beautiful harvest. The joys of ENJOYING your children is becoming a lost art. I feel sorry for those who will miss out by choice. I think being a mother is one of the most transforming things I have ever experienced.